26 April 2015 @ 10:53 pm
What brings me back to LJ after such a hiatus? Mortal embarrassment. The kind you ignore as much as you can until you're far enough from everyone else to tell your best friends in privacy.

You know how, in romantic movies featuring a single parent unlucky in love, 70% of the time the kid makes some form of power play to get their parent to see what's right in front of them with the person the kid thinks they should be with? And the audience goes "awww" when it works?

Well, in real life, when your kid tries to sneak you into holding hands with someone? You completely ignore what's going on as you both turn it into a one armed wrestling match with a 7 year old.
The adults won. And will likely never speak of it again.
Unless he gets stealthier as he grows.
Cause he almost accomplished his goal before we both noticed at the same time and I think that's what he's going to take from today's experience.

In related news, 4 years has apparently not put a damper on his plans for a certain guy with regards to our family.
Feelin': embarrassedembarrassed
Tunes: news
28 December 2014 @ 11:18 pm
My friend coined a term for when you have a crush on someone and start to talk and can't stop. Most of the time until you embarrass yourself: Word vomit.

I was carrying on an imaginary conversation with someone and word vomited to MYSELF.

And we wonder why I don't date.

This may or may not have had to do with going to Luke's Nina and Grandaddy's house and the "I fail at life" feeling I get, through no fault of theirs. I only have my own issues to blame. But I SERIOUSLY need something different to think about on the 4 hour drive home than what it would be like if I had a husband for the visits (I think I even complained about this LAST year. Likely invoking the Subconscious's Best Friend. Which I won't mention entering into thoughts this year, cause then we'd be getting repetitive). Or if I did, I could be the one to volunteer as tribute for having the next grandbaby so that we can keep the nifty trend. This year, there were 7 grandkids age 7 and under. We need another one to keep up for next year, 8, 8 and under. Carling, mom to three of them already, volunteered for a fourth. lol

When I turn 30 next week, I won't have had a date since I was 24. Unless you count playing pool with Karate Boy once. Which I don't.
As I recently told another friend, if Cameron hadn't turned into Cameron, I would've already been married and had two more kids.
Feelin': melancholymelancholy
Tunes: Dexter
14 December 2014 @ 11:28 pm
Grinchmas was celebrated by the Terranova crew today. AKA, we all went to Universal. When the grown-ups got boring by sitting to watch a concert, Eric and Luke almost immediately took off. "We're going for a walk, we'll be back."
They cam eback 15 or so minutes later. They almost rode the Mummy, but Luke got freaked out in the queue and claimed he just wanted to ride it with everyone.
I raised an eyebrow at Luke. "You know Eric is capable of keeping you safe. He won't let anything happen to you, and wouldn't take you on anything that was dangerous." (Luke had never ridden Mummy and was understandably nervous.)
He contemplated this for a few moments, then, courage restored, declared himself ready to try again.

They came back victorious this time.
After we saw enough of the concert (Molly was cold and we were all hungry and Luke had school in the morning), Molly and her crew departed and the rest of us rode Mummy AGAIN. Luke is slowly making his way through all of the rides. If only Epic would come with us more often.
Feelin': proud
04 December 2014 @ 10:42 pm
Bullying is such a buzzword right now, I worry about it. I just want Luke to grow up to be a good person. Empathetic. Someone who is willing and able to step in and go "enough", even if not in those words. I honestly counseled a kid today at work that middle school sucks. And his best bet is to put his head down and just keep going (he got in serious trouble for something some older kids kinda framed him for. If you believe his story. And its hard not too. He's not much bigger than your average 4th grader and his voice hasn't thought of dropping)

But it reminded me of 8th grade technology class. We sat in small group tables and one girl that sat with me decided for some reason that has slipped my mind, to pick at me. And I, being in middle school and wanting to fit in, lied. Because what 8th grader admits to sitting at home and watching TV or riding my bike alone being their main pass times? So I said I hung out at the (stereotypical) mall. And she got this shark look in her eye and said she hangs out at the mall ALL THE TIME and never saw me there. Where am I?? I had no comeback.
Then this guy at the table, can't remember his name but I know he was this tall, thin, athletic black kid who this pain in the butt had a crush on. Honestly, I may have too, he was just that popular kid everyone liked. Well, he looked up at her all of a sudden out of nowhere and goes "You know why you never see her? She hangs with me. And you'll never be good enough to."

THAT is the kid I want my son to be.
Tunes: news
16 September 2014 @ 09:21 pm
Damnit New Girl! You set unrealistic dating standards! "The last person you kissed was NICK. And that was four months ago!"

I have you beat, Jess! The last person I kissed was CAMERON. And that was 5 years and 8 months ago!

When I "take a break from dating", I take. A. Break.
Tunes: New Girl
14 September 2014 @ 10:05 pm
I assume that some day in the future, Luke will again see his dad. We were working toward that, with tentative plans for a group trip to see Guardians of the Galaxy all together. Cameron is a superhero nerd, they could bond over it. Then Cameron lost his phone and dropped off the face of the earth again just about a month ago, right before Luke's birthday. (Not arrested again, I checked)

I don't know how that will go. But I assume Luke will not run across a parking lot to give him a hug, then proceed to climb all over him, eliciting the amusing, "He's on my butt. Again."

His dad's a flake, but Luke has good people, good men in his life. And if his dad isn't going to be around, that's all I can ask for.
Feelin': thankfulthankful
Tunes: news
26 August 2014 @ 10:45 pm
So, Facebook?
Reminding me to wish my friend a happy birthday? Like it.

Not so much when said friend died last year of cancer, not reaching his 29th birthday that I'm supposed to be congratulating him about today.

Stephen, I know we drifted apart in high school, but I loved ya' buddy and was proud to have known someone so smart and kind and called you best friend through those horrible middle school years.
24 August 2014 @ 10:39 pm
I don't budget. I'm not proud of it, nor am I ashamed. Its just how I roll. (shoot me if I use that again anytime soon?) I occasionally do the math in my head and it comes out in the positive, so I feel like I'm all good. I use cash for gas and eating out (unless a real restaurant is involved because that's rare and usually involves work) because it makes me more aware of what I'm using.
(there's an exception for gas and that's at my favorite cheap station that I don't always get to hit and is only reliable for going to and from Orlando, so I fill all the way up)
My other idea of budgeting is using the occasional coupon and saying no to Panera requests from Luke if we're going to the movies that same weekend.

But I had an idea. My mom likes to take her change out of her pocket every night and save it. I weed through my pocket change if it gets too heavy. But I've decided that I will be taking out all of my single bills nightly and saving them. This might not do much because I usually operate in round numbers, but I'm going to try it.

Back when I was poor as hell, I planned to save $5 a week in order to take Luke for a snowboarding vacation when he is about 10, but that got put aside by a powerful need to eat sometime that week and never picked back up. I should do something about that. When he's ten, I'll only be 33 and I think I remember the mechanics of snowboarding. I vividly remember the literal scrape I put on my rental helmet...
Tunes: news
23 August 2014 @ 12:25 am
I'm disappointed in Sin City 2.

A) it took forever to make. I was a sophomore in college when the first came out. I'm 4 years out of college now. And I took 5 years on my degree.

B) The only reason I knew it existed was seeing posters

I adored the first movie. Like, completely in love with it. I own the special 4-disc edition. There was much weasling and finagling to get to see it in theaters and after Hassan backed out, it finally involved my first blind... date? Friendship? Thing that I told my roommate to call 911 and trace the dude through my computer if I didn't come back?
(I'm pretty sure he's the first hipster I ever hung out with. Before it was cool to be a hipster [see what I did there?] but he made an amazing lasagna and was the first man I ever went grocery shopping with. Which somehow stands out as a milestone. Prolly 'cause my dad NEVER went grocery shopping.)
21 August 2014 @ 12:12 am
According to the Magic 8 Ball in Toys R Us today, I will date Subconscious's Best Friend within the year. And we'll get married. But have no other children.

I'll take it.

Its my current only hope.

Yes, I'm an adult woman who asks an 8-Ball questions about my love life. Is there a problem?
10 July 2014 @ 11:19 pm
I'm just gonna leave this right here.

In case anyone has been curious about my job.
Tunes: TMZ
09 July 2014 @ 09:07 pm
Occasionally I wonder if I, as a grown woman months shy of being *shudder* NOT a 20-something, a mom, a home owner, a worker at a Serious Adult Job, should own more normal shirts versus graphic tees.
Then something comes up on TeeFury and that obnoxious idea if shoved away as I dive to order a Toothless shirt or a TARDIS shirt or a--

I'm waiting for Dark Tower to swing around on there for me, and stalking obsessively hoping for a Dr. Hooves for Luke. Otherwise someone will have to make him one for his birthday.
03 July 2014 @ 11:55 pm
My family was discussing the new house long before I bought it. I was excited to paint inside. My mom is excited to landscape. But my dad was kinda stuck. The house doesn't need much handy-manning. I have a contractor because the bank made me that is doing the little fixes my dad would have done and a new deck that, had we personally known a licensed contractor, dad would have been helping with to reduce the cost or time.

So Mom and I threw out there that I have a half acre of wooded property. Maybe he could build Luke a treehouse.
My dad got all excited. "I've always wanted to build a treehouse!"
Then why didn't you build me one when I begged for years and finally ended up with an elevated playhouse??
Feelin': grumpygrumpy
02 July 2014 @ 12:25 am

This is not what the title says it is. This should be titled: Luke and Chad, An Illustrated Guide.

Because I'm up way too late, I was looking through things on Pintrest and stumbled back across that and had to share. It triggered one of my favorite of their interactions. I can't remember where we were but Luke was being a pest himself and was hanging ALL OVER Chad. Hugging him from behind, practically climbing him, laying halfway on top of him if Chad dared sit down... Finally Chad looked at him and went, "One day, you will remember all of this and be completely embarrassed."

And Luke grinned at him defiantly and said, "No I won't", made this weird kinda-purring animal-type noise and snuggled his head into Chad's ribs.

If there ever comes a day that Chad quits coming to play with us, I am resigned to it.
30 June 2014 @ 10:04 pm
As I sit here with the TV on mute and no one to interact with (even my cats have shunned me for Outside), I wonder why I'm all down in the dumps all of a sudden.
I just bought a new house! I should be excited and researching color combinations and awesome ways to do a kitchen that still fits with the style of my house!
I'm also feeling all of my introvertiness so I should be happy to not be forced to interact with people! When I have one of these spells, I absolutely ABHOR my job. Well, the going out and talking to people that might have no desire to speak with me aspect of my job. The sitting at my desk sharing "You would not believe THIS" stories with my coworkers? I can do that.

So what's up, Ms. Everything is Awesome?

I made the mistake of looking in a full-length mirror yesterday. And while I have known academically that I am overweight (and a lot more than I ever thought I'd let myself be) (AND I've lost 10 pounds since I started keeping track of it!) holy shit it hit me. Luke is an adorable, fit, healthy kid. He's almost got abs. He can do pull ups. (I thank karate. He's in the advanced class now, BTW and someone FINALLY corrected his jumping jack form last week since he wouldn't listen to me. And why should he? I look like I've never done a jumping jack in my life!)
That was a lot of parentheses and I apologize. Tl;dr: I'm fat and my kid is not.
The point is, I looked in that mirror and said to myself, "Holy shit, no wonder you haven't been asked out since Cameron." (worth noting at this point in my self-esteem spiral: Cameron first asked me out in summer of 2006.)
And since recently Subconscious's Best Friend has been "Fully Conscious and Still Around", that directly correlated to "I would never ever EVER (EVER) have a chance with him no matter what. Thank God he's never (correctly) interpreted my friendliness as bad awkward flirting."
Feelin': melancholymelancholy
30 June 2014 @ 12:24 am
I own a home. As of Friday, all of the paperwork is done. Tomorrow I get my keys. So sometime after tomorrow, the fun begins. Painting. Decorating. Ripping out carpet that is all stained up and for some reason covering wood floors... I truly do not understand people who like carpet. Blech.

My brain decided to celebrate this turn of events by reviving Newbie and making him still work with me and call me at ass:30 at the new house because he was on-call and so tired he couldn't make it home (admittedly 45-ish minutes from the office). The dream changed right as I let him in and informed him, "Food. Bathroom. Couch for sleep. Or my bed is upstairs where I will be. Pick one," and went upstairs.

In this time, I'm also prepping to go to LeakyCon as an assistant to Molly. By prepping, I mean I've brought a bunch of crafty things, figured out exactly how I'm going to do what I need to do and haven't done it. But I managed to promise Luke his very own one in Ravenclaw colors... So I got that going for me?
Tags: ,
Tunes: Burn Notice
24 June 2014 @ 10:24 pm
One side effect of my job I never foresaw: Unless a man is a single father due to the death of the mother of his children, I will never ever ever date a single father.
Because the very second that baby mama gets pissed and calls in a report is the very second Luke and I are on the wrong end of the process.
No thank you.
Cute single men who love my kid, might want more, are completely unattached and have a healthy dose of nerd, now taking applications.

I don't know why it happened or WHEN, but Luke came back from his Nina and Granddaddy's house suddenly talking about boy stuff and girl stuff.
Now, I'm not a "raise gender neutral children" mom. I am a mom that did buy my son a Cabbage Patch Kid because he had a streak of blue glow in the dark hair, glow in the dark sneakers and a pirate shirt (his name is Charlie. He's been in the same spot in the corner of the living room, untouched, for about 9 months). I also do not discourage his love of My Little Pony. But on the other hand, I am a mother that has not worn pink in... God only knows. Early elementary? Luke has never seen me in a dress. I last wore one for my high school graduation or I wouldn't be allowed to walk. Chapstick is the closest thing to makeup to EVER touch my face. EVER.
So I don't know where this "That's not blue that's (lighter shade of blue), that's a girl color." Or the one that brought it to my attention when we were shopping for Luke's bigger bike refering to a girl in front of us in line also getting a new bike. It was one that Luke would have picked for himself if it were bigger: "She's bringing home a blue bike. That's a boy's bike."
'Since when is blue a boy-only color?' I query, incredulous, as I glance pointedly down to my blue Aladdin/Doctor Who shirt, blue cut offs and black, blue and silver (men's) sneakers. He had the grace to look a little embarrassed. Then he tried to save himself and dug it deeper.
"But its a TRICK bike. Those are BOYS bikes." I glared.
'Who says girls can't have a trick bike?' And I got to grumble to myself the need for X-Games to come on the only channel we get so I can show him the girl's competitions.

So that was a thing. And it better stop.
Feelin': frustratedfrustrated
Tunes: news
11 June 2014 @ 12:36 am
I'm devising plans to sneak a stuffed moose into the library and take pictures of him in the folklore section doing "research".

Somewhere along the way, my life went horribly wrong. Or horribly right. Little bit of both, I wager.

Posted via

27 May 2014 @ 11:28 pm
Found my motivation to step off a massive zipline platform.
Since that motivation is not a real offer... I'll let everyone else play for this deathtrap joy ride if we go.
But not Luke this time. This place has different age and weight requirements than the one when we went to NC for spring break (10yrs and 70lbs -v- 5yrs and... 50? lbs.)

Now if it were to become a real offer, I'd go. Maybe.
And I'd check for other signs of demon activity 'cause... no.
Feelin': scaredscared
Tunes: TMZ
26 May 2014 @ 11:06 pm
Somedays you're just sitting there, contemplating how you've grown and matured. Have a new car that, thanks to auto bill pay, has never had a late payment. My own phone, phone bill and auto insurance. Never mind the kid thing, a menstrating 11 year old can have one of those... I'm buying a house! I have successfully spoken with my ex three times without the urge to do violence with a spork.

Then I realized, as I was contemplating life, the universe and everything, I'd been adjusting the sleeves on the sweatshirt of my stuffed husky from Build A Bear. That Luke had stolen and taken to the living room and therefore in an effort to not forget him, I was snuggling with him for near on to 2 hours before bed.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Posted via

19 May 2014 @ 11:04 pm
The one thing I have grown to know and count on is that to Luke, I'm second tier when other folks are around. I'm no longer offended when I come in 5th when it comes to who to do something with. Its actually something that I exploit at this point, especially in theme parks.

Luke has finally started enjoying rides, even thrill rides. I owe this almost completely to Courtney's boyfriend, Eric. I don't know how Eric can coerce him onto things that he flat out refuses for me, but he can. All Eric has to say is, "Let's go on that one," and Luke's all gung-ho to try it. Like this weekend, he rode a water slide he likely would not have set foot in if it were me who proposed it. It was huge, and fast and completely enclosed and therefore DARK. He rode it 5 times on Sunday. FIVE. He and Eric have a date to ride Ripsaw Falls next time we go to Universal (we were all already wet Saturday and didn't want to wait 40 minutes to get wetter).
Chad somehow gets roped in by Luke as either the person he sits next to as a bribe to get him to try a ride, or sits next to after Eric convinces him its a good idea and we get to the front of the line or the person to take him on a ride I just plain don't like. Stupid racecar ride at Magic Kingdom, anyone?
Courtney just gets tackled. She's the other sit-beside if Chad's not there.
Molly and I are boring. We're MOMs and therefore get left alone. AJ seems to fall into this category a bit since Drewby was born. "Boring not-my-dad", though he did get him on Jurassic Park River Adventure Saturday by casually saying he was going.

This all is working out for the best because Drew has reached the ripe old age of three and has decided that HIS mom and dad are boring and wants to sit with me on rides. Or Luke. But Luke isn't old enough to be the responsible rider on a two seat ride (though I point out that Luke and Drew sitting together would mean a more secure lap bar on one of the kiddie coasters. My fat ass left a gap big enough that I felt the need to have a hand discreetly beside him so I knew he wouldn't sling out). Though for several rides, Luke pointed out that he's tall enough he is now allowed to ride without an adult.
Feelin': tiredtired
Tunes: TMZ
05 May 2014 @ 11:17 pm
I am on a cat gathering plan and didn't know it. As you will recall, we originally got two litter mates when Luke was three. When Gypsy died (horribly), we waited a bit and got Little Bit when Pi was just about two. Their birthdays are almost right next to each other (3/31 and 4/4), just two years apart.
If I keep it up and get a new cat every two years, I'll be well suited for the cat-lady life by the time I'm ready to resign myself to my fate!

I joke but I'm partly serious.
...Mostly serious?
......I actually don't know how much serious.

All I know is that a booklet on Pintrest of "Whether or Not He's Worth It" was supposed to be "powerful" and a "must-read" and really it just made me kinda cry. Which I don't think was the desired reaction.
Tunes: TMZ
30 April 2014 @ 09:48 pm
I am seriously more stoked (wtf, '90s kid showing through?) about the upcoming How to Train Your Dragon sequel than any other movie ever. Except maybe the Avengers.
Every time news of it crosses my radar, I must watch. Teaser trailer? Trailer? First ten minutes? Featurette?
Gimme gimme gimme! I wants it alls *hordes furiously*

I'm dragging Luke the premier weekend. My mom wants to go too. But seriously, they're just reaping the rewards of my utter joy at this franchise.


Dream!Luke learned The Truth about Santa and pumped me for information. In a fit of pique, Dream!me referred him to "[his] dad" for any further questions on the subject.
Dream!me did not mean Cameron.
Dream!me inserted a stepdad into the picture.
Real!me wouldn't mind having this pass off on hand by the time this becomes an issue.
Real!me will not comment about the person who got cast in this role and my feelings either way with regards to the choice.
Tags: ,
21 April 2014 @ 11:20 pm
People are bound and determined to ruin my child's belief in Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter bunny.

We went to get our hair cut Saturday and the lady cutting Luke's hair started talking with someone about how her daughters declared, "Don't worry, I know Grandpa's the Easter Bunny." Which she followed by relaying that she asked them why they would think that, but still.

I made the "mistake" of allowing Luke to read the Sunday comics on Easter as he does every Sunday. Right there in Baby Blues, the mom and dad were discussing who hid the eggs that year. (!!!) As I read it after he did, I was hoping for a heart warming "If we both forgot, it must have been the Easter Bunny for REAL" but didn't get it.

On vacation, Chad asked (with Luke nearby) if Luke still had "that cool bed we put together for him." You mean the one SANTA gave him?! I cringed.
And yes he does. If he didn't, Chad would recall because I'd probably buy him off with lunch again to use his truck and bring home the new one. And yes, probably hope he'd stay and help put it together again but again not ask. If it took us two hours, I can only imagine a how long it would have taken me on my own.
It does need a new top rail on the short side if Luke wants to keep it when we move, since he's chewed it way more than necessary for someone his age.
Feelin': grumpygrumpy
Tunes: TMZ
12 April 2014 @ 11:47 pm
aka: I Might Need Some Red Paint As a House Warming Present

My Brain Wrote Pseudo-Fanfic While I Was ShoweringCollapse )
Tunes: news